


It's Only Love

by hafren



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-29
Updated: 2009-11-29
Packaged: 2017-10-03 23:27:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hafren/pseuds/hafren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tynus's story</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Only Love

**Author's Note:**

> It's only love, and that is all  
> But it's so hard, loving you
> 
> \- Lennon-McCartney

Varus is predictable, luckily. Just coming up to six, he gave a great yawn. "That's enough for one day. I'm off. Aren't you finished yet?"

"Not quite."

He laughed, a little contemptuously. "Well, my weekend starts here. But I don't suppose you've got anything more interesting to do than work."

"'Fraid not." Living up to my reputation. Dull little Tynus, who sits at home sketching and hasn't got a life. Sometimes I wish that were still true.

He went out, whistling, and as the door closed behind him, I fitted a tiny button in my ear and spoke into my wrist chrono, which now had some interesting extra functions.

"He's on his way. He should be in sight in about ten minutes."

"You are sure he will come this way?" The purr n my ear made my insides clench.

"It's the weekend. He'll go to the credit point. His kind of pleasures don't come cheap."

"You sound disapproving." His voice so close, when I couldn't see him; it was as if he were behind me, murmuring into the back of my neck, making the hairs prickle. "No need to be jealous. In half an hour you'll be able to afford any pleasure you want."

"You know what I want."

His soft laugh vibrated in my ear. "Well, you can have that too, as soon as this is done. You may as well start following him now. But stay well back, and keep the comlink open. Only come forward when I touch him."

"Kerr, I'm scared. Let's not go through with it."

"Think of the reward. Lots of credits. Getting one over on a colleague who sneers at you. My body to do what you like with, for a whole weekend. Now get out here."

Being in love should be easier than this. All the way down from the office, the teasing whisper went on, suggesting things I might like to do with him, when I'd earned him - he knew the lift would be full and I'd have to act as if nothing was going on.

Out in the walkways, I made for the little plaza of shops and businesses where the bank stood. That plaza has a glass roof; you can see some sky through it. Normally I liked that, but now it frightened me. Too much brightness, too much depth. You could drown in it.

I saw Varus quite soon. I raised the chrono and tried to talk behind my hand, certain I looked as guilty as I felt. "He's looking in the jeweller's window, two down from the bank. Stout. Flash blue jacket." I couldn't earn it in six months, that jacket. Nor did he. I knew his finances intimately. I could never have fixed the chrono as Kerr did, but simple hacking is not beyond me. Most of the credit in Varus' account got there by fairly devious routes.

"I see him," said the voice in my ear. And I saw _him_ now. My reward, and suddenly the fear fluttering in my stomach seemed worthwhile. He was lounging against a wall, and as always the sight of him, the mere angle he leaned at, tripped my heart. He was unshaven, dressed as if in haste, with none of his usual neatness, but nothing could take that grace, that nonchalance, from him.

At least, I wouldn't have thought so. But then he glanced over, flashed me a smile as bright as the sky and changed his whole demeanour. He edged over to Varus looking scared, furtive, and I hardly knew the voice I heard over the link as he spoke to the fat swine.

"Sir... sir, please?"

Varus turned, instantly wary, afraid someone might ask him for money. Begging may be illegal, but that's never stopped people doing it.

"Sir, listen, please. I don't mean any harm. I bought this lottery ticket, see?" He showed it to Varus, quite close; it was no forgery. "And when the six o'clock viscast put the numbers up," he gestured at the widescreen across the square, "mine was there. It's a winner."

"Congratulations." Varus has no interest in anyone else's good luck.

"Yes, but I can't claim it." The link didn't quite pick up what Varus said next, but I could read his body. I only wished I could read the other one as well. He's greedy, is Varus; he was still wary but he had to know more. The unfamiliar, apologetic voice came back in my ear. "I'm illegal, you see. My papers aren't in order."

"You're wanted."

"Yes. I need to get out. And I could, with some of this."

"What's it to me?"

I knew that tone. Varus was well aware what might be in it for him. But he was still wary, and there was something else too. Even more than money, Varus likes power.

"I could sell it to you. It's worth five hundred thousand credits, the viscast said. You can have it for half that, if I get it now."

"And whose word have I got that it's worth anything? Do you think I was born yesterday?"

"Please! Please, sir!" Kerr gripped his arms. My cue. And I froze for a moment, then made myself walk forward.

"Hello, what's going on here? Are you all right?"

"Of course. Just being plagued by a con-man." And they told me all about it, between them.

"Well, that's easily settled. The numbers'll be on textnews." I switched my chrono to text and pressed some buttons. It was not in fact textnews that came up, but how was Varus to know that?

"Show me the ticket." I am near-sighted to a degree that couldn't be completely corrected even with laser surgery, so it was natural that I pulled Kerr's hand close to peer at it. The touch of his skin was warm. I knew my own was clammy with fear. I made a play of comparing ticket with screen and let out a whistle. "Well, it's a winner right enough. Look for yourself."

And Varus did, and just for an instant I saw the light in his hard little eyes, before he got it under control. "What about the amount?"

"Just coming up." I checked the new screen. "Six sharing three million three hundred thousand. Just over five hundred thou each."

Varus looked through Kerr, to where a man could spend some of those credits.

"I could just take it and turn you in." he said conversationally.

Kerr folded it small and put it in his mouth. "I'd eat it first. And the reward for me's pitiful."

Varus tapped his fingers together as if thinking about it. Was he, hell. Kerr told me to find a rich, venal mark, and I did.

"Give you five thousand for it."

Kerr acted shocked. "I can't run far enough on that! And it's all pure profit to you. Two hundred and fifty or I try someone else."

"They might be more scrupulous than me." He wasn't wrong there. "You can't afford to take too many risks. Ten."

Kerr looked hopelessly at me. "What about you, sir, would you...?"

I turned my palms up. "Sorry, mate, I've hardly got ten in the world. And I don't really like the idea of getting involved in this sort of thing."

"Tynus is not a risk-taker." Varus' voice was cutting. "Twenty."

"Two-thirty." I wished they would settle it. I was getting more nervous by the minute. But Varus was enjoying the feel of the power he thought he had, and Kerr had all the nerve I didn't. I shifted uneasily.

"Look, if you're sure you're all right, I'll be going."

"You do that." He didn't even look at me. I walked on, as steadily as I could, out of the plaza, beyond the range of the receiver in my ear, back to my flat. I let myself in, very calmly, sat down and began shivering uncontrollably. I was so, so scared.

The dangerous time would be just after Varus tried to redeem the ticket and found it hadn't won anything. He'd know I was part of the scam; I had to be. I'd shown him the fake numbers. That was when he might come storming round to my place.

"He won't." Kerr had been so sure of that. "He will be angry, but also very embarrassed. He'll go home, to think what best to do - after all, he can hardly tell the authorities. And he will check his computer, because at some point it will dawn on him that if you knew he had that much in his account, you must have accessed his data somehow. As soon as he switches on, he'll find the message I'm going to leave. The list of all his dubious dealings you so thoughtfully assembled, and a warning that it'll be with the authorities by the end of the day. Varus will be gone by morning, and too busy arranging his exit to come after you."

I'd been convinced at the time. He could convince me of anything, as long as I was looking into his eyes. But now, alone, I was thinking how could he be so sure, and why did I ever get into this. Tynus is not a risk-taker.

I heard my front door glide open and nearly jumped out of my skin before I remembered who else had the code.

And he was behind me, leaning down, nudging the little receiver out of my ear with his tongue, kissing the back of my neck and making it tingle. His hands came around in front, one undoing the buttons on my shirt, the other waving a fat envelope.

"Hundred and fifty thousand."

"What! You really got him up to that?"

"Oh, you chose him very well." The hand slid inside my shirt and played with a nipple. "No-one's ever found me a better mark since I started this."

"One of them'll go to the law one day, you know. And that's the first and last I set up for you."

"But you did it so well." He came and sat on the floor in front of me, his dark eyes smiling up into mine, and I turned away.

"I've been petrified. When I heard the door I was sure it was him. Or the law."

He played with my hand. "Well, you must have been pleasantly surprised, then."

Suddenly I was shaking. "You bastard, you hold me in as much contempt as Varus does. Knowing I didn't want to do any of this, that I couldn't say no to you."

"Hush, now." He held me until I stopped shaking, then took my face in his hands and gave me that smile. I felt myself smiling back. "You know why I asked you to do it," he said softly. "I can't make love with anyone unless I'm involved in a crime with them. It's just the way I am. I need that thrill, that edge. And now..." His voice went all low and velvety. "I'm all yours, until Monday morning anyway. If I have offended, then you must show me how to atone." He spoke the last word into my mouth as he kissed me.

"You could start by shaving." My voice was a little unsteady. "And get those clothes off; they don't suit you. Then you can take a shower."

"As you wish." He inclined his head, in a gesture that was not quite a bow, and went into the bathroom. I followed. Watched him do my bidding, silent and compliant, until he stood in front of me, his bare skin slightly flushed from the shower. And I wondered why I felt as if I were the one complying.

Even when he knelt before me, giving me his perfect mouth while my fingers tangled in his damp hair, I felt he was in control. And on my bed, my lips explored the hollows in his neck and traced along a little trail of fur to his navel, and he lay there submitting to it - or accepting it as tribute. And when I entered him, he arched and thrust back, taking me so deep inside, I thought I would drown in him.

Later, as we lay in each other's arms, he stroked a finger across my cheek and said gently "What's the matter? It's only love."

"But it's so hard, loving you."

He laughed. "Well, it certainly was just now, I'm glad to say."

"Ha, ha. I'm serious, Kerr. I love being with you, but I'm not cut out for this other stuff; it terrifies me."

He kissed my shoulder lazily. "I can't believe you don't get a buzz out of it. It's the best part; it makes all the rest happen right."

"Not for me. Is it really so exciting for you?"

"Oh, yes." He shifted in my arms and I caught the faint scent of his hair. "At least, it used to be. To tell you the truth, this street stuff's wearing off. I need something bigger - no, not that! I want to do something major."

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know. Break a big casino, one where they'd be seriously annoyed and maybe try to kill me. Hack into a top-security government cipher. Steal something really worthwhile, not just a few hundred thousand. I've got a plan for that, actually." His voice went into that low purr again; his mouth was against my shoulder and I felt it move in a smile. "We could be in it together. You did a good job hacking into Varus' data; how do you fancy helping me do the same for the Federation banking cartel?"

He was warm in my arms, still glowing from the shower and the sex, but inside I went cold. "Kerr, no! I told you, I don't want any more of it."

"Oh, that would be a pity. Let's sleep on it; you might feel different tomorrow."

But I didn't sleep. I lay awake, staring into the dark, next to the glimmer of his pale skin: just the sight of you makes night-time bright. And I knew he'd talk me into it, if not tomorrow then soon. I couldn't say no to him.

So I made sure I never had to. On the Monday I went into work, expressed proper shock at the sensational disappearance of Varus, took an hour off and walked into the questionably named Offices of Justice.

"I want to confess to a fraud. I'm hoping to avoid charges in return for information on two other people. I know exactly why Varus left and what he's been up to, and I can give you someone else who's been committing street frauds worth hundreds of thousands for months. But he mustn't know I fingered him. I'll show you how to set up a sting, but keep my name out of it."

The investigator studied me for a moment which felt like a week, then nodded. "Let's talk about it."

I loved him, truly I did, and one reason I insisted they keep me out of it was that I couldn't bear for him to think of me as I deserved. I ached when I thought of him in prison - worst of all, when I got a smuggled message not to worry, because he hadn't given them my name and wasn't going to. When he was sent for re-education, I tried to imagine all that playful provocativeness, that hunger for risk, being stifled in him, like a light going out, and I just couldn't make it feel true.

But then of course I was right. Because about a week ago I got another message. "I'll be out in a month. Have you thought any more about that plan we discussed?"

I have put in for a transfer, which has been granted. Hardly surprising. The planet Fosforon is the back of beyond; no-one goes there voluntarily unless he has something to hide from. I will be there, when he is getting his thrills the only way he can. I wonder who will be sharing them with him.

Oh Kerr, I love you; I wake night after night from dreams of you and if you walked through my door now, I would light up with joy. But with any luck, that won't happen. I sincerely hope I shall never set eyes on you again.


End file.
